


A Little Too Late

by ElizaXSpears



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, POV First Person, sort of romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4607331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaXSpears/pseuds/ElizaXSpears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I ended up relying on you more than a partner should have but you didn’t step out from under me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> So…ah, a bit of angst for you all. Um, just a bit more first person practice I suppose. Enjoy.

Who was I to judge you? When I first met you, I didn’t think much of you. I remember actually complaining when Chief told me she’d assigned me a partner. I was doing what I could easily; I especially didn’t need a partner to ruin my plans with Myra. It’s funny, how I thought you’d try to take her from me, but when I met you with your hair in your eyes and the gloveless hands, I knew you wouldn’t be her type but I still didn’t care much for you.

That changed when you took a bullet for me our right case together. You were in the hospital with a wounded shoulder for a week, constantly apologizing that you weren’t at work to help. You were, though I found it hard to admit at first, cute with your apologetic eyes you damn Canadian. I remember you even offered to help Myra with her paperwork so she and I could get off work at the same time which I still didn’t thank you for. You grew on me, almost like a puppy at first but then I ended up relying on you more than a partner should have but you didn’t step out from under me. You kept me supported even agreeing to be my Best Man. I didn’t notice then but I know now that what I thought were happy tears were quite the opposite. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that until now.

When Lily was born, you were the second person I trusted to hold her. In that alone, I could tell you thrilled to know I thought of you as my best friend, which you were. You were her uncle and she loved you like Myra and I did…you allowed me to hurt you when I was angry after the fire. You let me yell at you, curse you, even hit you then you knelt by my side when I collapsed in a mess of tears…you tried to assure me things would be alright and you cried with me.

When Myra disappeared, I pushed everyone away, I even tried to keep you at an arm’s length but you had your ways of crawling back to me with stern words that seemed harsh then but now only served to remind me that you just wanted me to get better. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to.

When you reported me to A.I, I hated you, thought that was your way of telling me you had enough of my bullshit but now when I looked back on it, you did help me. I still drank too much but I did ease up even if it was hardly noticeable…I was never able to apologize to you for the weeks of scornful looks and silence.

Funny enough, when, whatever the hell they called it, STEM? I think that was it. When STEM happened, it put our friendship under strain and through trials but even with all the bullshit I put you through, you remained at my side to keep me standing. You were able to protect yourself and me when I wouldn’t have blamed you if you let one of those damned things eat me, or if you let one of those giants crush me. Even when you lost your glasses to that…dog, I realize now it wasn’t a big deal to get them. As long as you could see.

But then there was that other you. The…the one that tried to strangle me, the one you said you were having trouble fighting. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if you let it take over your mind as an excuse to get rid of my sorry ass, but you didn’t. You fought for me.

I…I can’t explain what I felt when Kidman shot you and you fell to the ground. The first time you were shot by the sniper, you were still moving, were still alive but when she shot you, you didn’t move. You just…laid there. I spent the rest of my time in STEM praying I’d find you again but I never did.

I remember when stepped out of Beacon, conscious from STEM, my first thought was to look for you. I must have looked crazy, calling out your name and checking the two ambulances that were there…when I did find you, I was too shocked to do anything. Your eyes were open, you looked surprised until the corner closed them, pulling the white sheet over your head and taking you away. There was something in my gut that rose up to my throat, making it nearly impossible to speak or breath and when I tried, a sob escaped me and a I remember my body going on its own to try and take you away, to try and keep you with me a little while longer but I was held back and you were gone.

Sometimes, I pass by your empty apartment in hopes to see lights on but it’s always dark. There is only one place where I’m sure you are and it’s where I am now, knelt in the wet grass with my hand resting on the cold stone with lily’s as a gift as rain bounces off my cold body.

I know it’s too late now, but the feeling that I had when I saw your body, it was the feeling of my heart breaking all over again because up until then, I hadn’t realized how much I loved you. How much you meant to me, how much I missed you…now you’ll never know how much I want to just hold you and kiss you and tell you, “I love you, Joseph. I always did.”


End file.
